Hiatus???

My itching fingers got the better of me. After a few days of typing commands, editing codes and an e-book, I got tired. Well there's also the fact that my mental digestion seem to work exceptionally well these few days. I've digested most of the information that I've acquired in my weekend trip the other day.
Basically I'm not changing what I'm doing. I will just add on to what I do. It is comforting to realise that I am on the road leading to my intended destination and that's what I've realised after processing my discussions and the ideas that spring from it. I also learned how to accelerate which is something that gives me a needed boost to my confidence. I was already confident of what I planned even when people kept asking me and pushing me to do something else before this but I persevered. Well, I did so courtesy of my parents' patience and understanding but I did manage to hold on to my path. Whole new dimensions.. all with boundless potential. New worlds... new civilisations... so many possibilities...
I was speaking of ideas and possibilities not new worlds. The words that I use are simply a mirror of my thinking style. Something that I felt was so alien and kept me apart from people around me. I lamented the fact that my mind worked in a way so strange that people misunderstood my observations and ultimately my intentions. Well, most of my time in the past year had been spent in trying to understand the strange twists and turns my mind makes and stringing sense out of the output it gives. It's a wonder that I actually finished school and an even bigger wonder that I finished my degree when I never actually understood what my mind prints out. They were so much gibberish and I only understood a portion of what I processed before my philosophical year.
Okay. This is turned out to be a post on my mind and how much it was a stranger to me before this. There are still it's ways that I've yet to understand but I work well with it now. My mind and I make a good team, a mutually beneficial partnership. One that enriches both of us...

Hiatus

Am on a writing hiatus. Had a trip to my friend's place last weekend and had great discussions with him. Exchanged stories and ideas.

Still processing a lot of things right now and am working out a new map. I'll be writing again in 2 weeks time unless I have a revelation before that. So, see you on the 5th of May...

-Ahmad Hilmi-

Ah, news from AMD....

Been wondering when AMD would release their new processor... There's also the new GPU, R600 from ATI/AMD that's supposed to come out this April but so far is has been quite elusive. Here's a few lines from the AMD Gospel on Overclockers.com.

Then the same day in Tunisia, being the second day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the C2Ds, came Jesus Derrick and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, "Pieces I bring unto you."

And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his Barcelonas and Agena FXs, and even 65nm R600s, with copies of selected benchmarks. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord.

The AMD Gospel

Here's to hoping the new GPU and CPU from AMD would be great performers. Prices would be competitive if they're so and we would be able to enjoy better performance at lower prices. My target date for a full upgrade is sometime in October so am really hoping they give Intel and NVIDIA stiff competition.

Google Map Bug

Well, just read about the google map bug.. apparently it asks you to swim across the Atlantic Ocean if you try to find directions between Europe and the United States. Quite a funny bug.... Oh it's also true the other way round, from the US to Europe.

Speed Reading!

Did the speed reading test that Aimi did... I got this You read 144 words in 0.37 minutes. Your reading speed is 389 words per minute!

One intetesting tidbit from the site is this statement; Please note that reading is around 25% slower when reading from a screen compared to reading from a paper. I've always preferred books when there's a choice between an electronic and paper based formats. Maybe that's why... Screen reading is slower~

Oh the speed reading test link.

Adversity meme

I've no idea what meme means so I referred to the Oxford English Dictionary.

meme

/meem/

• noun Biology an element of behaviour or culture passed on by imitation or other non-genetic means.

— DERIVATIVES memetic adjective.

— ORIGIN Greek mimema ‘that which is imitated’, on the pattern of gene.

Anyway here goes. I'm doing the Adversity meme started by Paul @ Original Faith.

A wall so high as to be insurmountable,
Dividing a land that on both sides sit idle,
What comes are shot without questions asked,
What moves are beaten till it moves no more,
The people lay afraid and with fear comes anger,
When asked what they fear their voices disappear,
No memory lives of what caused the divide,
No reasons given for what feeds the fear,
They accept what is passed from father to son,
No questions asked, no thought ever given.

Scientist Creates First Human-Sheep Chimera

Scientist Creates First Human-Sheep Chimera

How does that strike you? I started thinking of multi headed creatures with unnatural strength when I read the word chimaera. Essentially it just means a creature with mixed genes. Oxford dictionary gives this description.

chimera

/kimeer/ (also chimaera)

• noun 1 Greek Mythology a fire-breathing female monster with a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a serpent’s tail. 2 something hoped for but illusory or impossible to achieve. 3 Biology an organism containing a mixture of genetically different tissues.

— ORIGIN Greek khimaira ‘she-goat or chimera’.

It's interesting research and since the organs are just half humans for now it'll take some more time to perfect the organ production. It's a big leap because organ donors are in short supply and this also addresses compatibility problems since it your own stem cells are used.

Cross-species disease is a danger but I think between that and getting a human donated organ and living on anti-rejection drugs it's almost the same risk. Oh, one thing, the blood and other sheep components that essentially makes the creature a sheep would still be there.... Maybe there would be some transition period after a transfer before the organ is fully accepted... We'll just have to see how the research progresses I guess.

I for one think this is good progress. Growing human foetuses for research purposes is illegal in many countries and stem cell research is allowed to a certain extent in some. So technically this circumvents the abhorrence that many feel in regard to human foetus research.

Weird Things About Me

I read these at amieheidi's blog so I guess I'm tagged... Oh, do scroll down after you read this, I posted 3 entries tonight.

Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things/fetish about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I type all my capital letters even while using a wordprocessor that auto-capitalises. I learned typing in pre-windows era where there weren't any correct as you type word processors. I first used WordPerfect by the way. One good thing with the classic word processors was that I could actually type teh and not have it corrected into "the". I remember a restaurant menu somewhere menu reading "The Tarik" and "The O". Teh means tea for anyone who doesn't speak Malay.

2. I used to read out loud certain words as I'm reading. Most often when I read the daily comics section but I also did it when reading books too.

3. I don't read the daily comics in order. I read the ones I don't like first rather than completely skipping them and the ones I like last. I've always done that and it feels weird any other way

4. I started reading novels at 8 and fantasy novels at 10 but I've only read 4 Malay novels and 1 Malay novel series. The series had 6 short books I think. So in total I've read only 10 Malay books. The reason is simple. I find the Malay books I try to read boring. The first book I read was one my dad gave me at 10 and I only finished reading it when I was 17. I couldn't focus on the book when I was younger and keep stopping to read more interesting books.

5. I read car manuals from cover to cover. Started with my dad's car when I was 10 I think and I still continue till now. They're interesting, don't ask me why.

6. I used to hum to myself. I don't know whether I still do it or not as I never notice when I actually hum and as such I never even know what I hummed. My younger sister says it's the same tune every time but they couldn't repeat it or give it a name. Both says it sounds familiar though. I did it mostly when I concentrate on doing something I think.

Those are 6 weird things about me. I'll add another one here. I can't think of anything that didn't relate to reading or words at all when I started. I put humming in point 6 after a lot of digging in my mind. I tag Kakak, Hana, Aimi, Aiman and Dr Su. I also tag anyone who reads this and haven't done it yet.

Pokok Melaka

Pokok Melaka, also known as Indian Gooseberry is the origin of Melaka's name. I'm quite proud to say that I've known how pokok Melaka looks like since I was in high school. My friend pointed out to me the tree and even plucked a fruit for me. Of course I waited until he tasted it first before I did. It's quite bitter and sour but still nice. The fruit is also pickled though I've never tasted one.

If you go to Mahkota Parade in Melaka and the Dataran Mahkota in front of it you'll get to see the trees in real life. They're pokok Melaka that's why the council planted them okay. There's also a huge pokok Melaka near the Stadhuys. For anyone from Melaka look around next time you go shopping.




These are the pickled fruits.








These are cermai for those who think I've confused buah melaka with buah cermai.






Malacca Tree Wikipedia link.
Pokok Melaka Wikipedia link.

Consideration

I'm going to start another blog soon. A Malay one since it would benefit more of my customers. I thought the other day that I may be trying to do too much writing. As it is my blog isn't updated that regularly anyway. After a few weeks of considering I'm going ahead anyway. What I write here and on my other blogs are different aspects of my mind so writing on one wouldn't mean I run out of ideas for the other blogs.

I would like to start on the real post now. Consideration. How many of us know this word and it's true meaning? Consideration of other people and their thoughts. Consideration of our own selves. Oxford dictionary describes consideration as "1 careful thought. 2 a fact taken into account when making a decision. 3 thoughtfulness towards others. 4 a payment or reward."

The part that I'm focusing on is the 3rd entry, thoughtfulness towards others. Do we take others into consideration when we make decisions or do any actions? Do you show consideration towards others?

Forgiveness

Asking for forgiveness is a big part in forgiving your own self. You let go of your pride when you do that. When the other party forgives you a great burden would be lifted off your back. On the other hand being denied forgiveness is as much a possibility as getting one.

Why should anyone keep grudges when it hurts the person holding it more? Asking someone who loves to hold grudges would enlighten me but I don't get along well with someone like that since I'm one of the least tactful people I know. That means no answers from anyone except my own self.

The reason I see is simple. Being too significant. Significance here meaning simply thinking too much of your own self. Believing your truth and existence matters to the world. This I say only in reflection of my own hard-headed years.

Everyone's truth is different and accepting that means accepting people's mistakes and also my own. Nothing irked me more than people who sees things only through their own biased lens. It really bugs me simply because I did that a lot even when I had the ability to shift my perspective.

Now I do as much as I can to view from outside myself. Create a consciousness outside my being. A part of me that sees and reminds me of my own biases and preconceptions. It is possible but so far I haven't been able to maintain it during active conflicts. The time it takes for me to recover my pseudo awareness after an argument is decreasing though. It remains to be seen how much I could help myself this way.

Till another day then.

Tagged... Daily review questions

Since Dr Su tagged me I'll do my best to answer the questions. Everyday is meaningful to me if I apply meaning to it so I just answer it today

1. What was your peak experience or accomplishment in the past day?
Overcame a financial block.

Your main challenge?
Actually doing the actions needed. I already scripted a plan to overcome the block and preventing it from affecting me again.

2. What emotional reactions, stresses or tensions were triggered in the last 24 hours?
I was nervous and even had mild tremors towards the end of my block-busting. I also had travel fatigue and maybe post-training fatigue yesterday night. The latter stresses aren't related to the block.

3. What decisions need to be made?
How to organise my room and keep it organised. When to travel to my friend's place in JB for my personal and business plans. Which path I'm taking along my career. I've been keeping my options open so far. The JB trip is also to help me choose which path I'll commit to.

What problems need to be solved?
Room straightening. It's all warped over here right now. Anyway questions 1 & 2 both have extra questions!

4. What early warning signals are calling for your attention?
This unending cough. It could be athsma but now it just seems like something is stuck in my chest. A moderate amount of phlegm and slight itching. The painful raw sensation has subsided and that's good and I could take a deep breath now without coughing my lungs out.

5. What did you learn about yourself in the past 24 hours?
I've been unable to clean my room because I haven't committed myself to any path. I've been keeping myself dangling and it isn't doing me any good. I also learned that I need to maintain close friends outside my family to discuss with. Family is too close for me to have a full meaningful discussion of my choices. Resonance without blood ties and a totally different angle as the basic thinking pathways are different.

6. What new ideas, insights or urges came up?
A resolve to maintain and multiply my income. I've not cared about cash but my overall well being; emotional, mental and physical was being affected by my aversion to money.

7. What strong desires did you notice?
A desire to pull my beloved to me right now. It's not feasible because I've yet to attain a sufficient level of financial freedom. She lets things around her affect her too much and that affects me indirectly.

8. How did you experience any reflection, stillness, relaxation or fun?
Letting the stillness, calmness wash over me. My concerns are external, unimportant. My heart and mind are buoyed, floating atop the chaos that are the events all around me. Seeing all, following the weaves of meaning that flows between events. The tapestry that it forms rather than the individual threads.

9. What can you do to improve your health, energy and memory?
Regulate my sleep and taking enough water. I've regulated my food intake for quite sometime so that isn't an issue now.

10. Who, including yourself, needs your acceptance or forgiveness?
I wish to accept my current self and forgive and accept my beloved.

11. What goals or next step are unclear or need more effort?
Holistic Leaders marketing. My career path. I also am refining my thinking. Trying to integrate my thought process with my emotions. Right now they much too separate and while that does give me a lot of benefits, proper integration would gain me more understanding and knowledge over myself. Some of my weaknesses right now like an unpredictable temper is from the separation of thought and emotion. My emotions would overpower thoughts when they get too strong. Proper integration is the keyword. I don't mean a mixing of both but a true synergy between the two.

12. What is your ‘critical inch’ (thanks to Richard Carlson) – your most important immediate next step?
Making a life plan. I've not made a proper one yet and it shows in my actions.

Headddddddache

I've been reading a bit about net addiction. I do have it, I really do. I would sit in front of this computer for hours pulling very interesting information that has doubtful uses. None are bad in itself but I'll give an example here to make things clearer. Yesterday I surfed and found a link to Australian Weeds. Not the smoking type mind you. So I spent a few hours reading and checking the many kinds of weeds in Australia, it's origins, how it affects the environments it grows in... So what do I get from that? More knowledge, yes but it isn't even relevant to anything that I do or know. It does expand my mind but I would devote about 15 minutes to half an hour to it if it's on printed media. Since it's in the net and linked to many more intriguing information I continued clicking and reading.

I'm having none of that tonight. Actually..... I'm stopping short rather than not starting. I already did read lots of interesting things tonight. A good 2 hours of reading Bruneian blogs and trying to figure out the local dialect. I say dialect because think formal Brunei Malay is very much similar to ours so correct me if I'm wrong.

Sluggy Freelance

I read webcomics. Used to read a whole bunch of 'em but dropped all of them at one point in the past. Now am only reading Sluggy Freelance. Quite interested in some that I read before but I really don't find it important for me to catch up and follow them all. This is the one I like most and I'm sticking with it even though it does have it's slow days or weeks. It's okay with me because I usually check it out once a week anyway. Prefer my comics in week sized doses rather than a single day shot ;)

Demam

Got meself a lovely gift together with the training program last weekend. A full blown athsma attack. I was planning to sleep early but ended up I coughed and gagged the whole night long. Did get a few minutes of sleep. Maybe an hour in total but it was very shallow sleep. A light doze where I'm aware of my breathing and level of phlegm in my chest. When it reaches critical point, i.e when I would start gasping and gagging again, I would wake up and cough up the phlegm into the large paper napkins I kidnapped from the kitchen.

Still have it right now but it's not as bad. Was worst the first night, Friday going into Saturday, and Monday night. Got a fever on Monday night.

On something completely unrelated, I seem to lose track of time a lot nowadays. I can't seem to remember what day it is most of the time. I can't recall very well what I did on which day too. But funny thing is my deadlines are all properly met even when I forget the days. Maybe my internal work-scheduler has a working clock and calendar. It's not sharing with other parts of my mind though...

New Blog

I've started a new blog. This would still be my personal blog, where I could rant and complain when I feel like it. The other one is my spiritual blog. Whatever that means to you. To me it means it's a blog related to my advancement in life.

Seeking the Truth of My Existence

Scrappy scrappy Doooo~

Well... I do love a good scrap whenever the time's right. I enjoy it really. The verbal kind not physical. Never noticed it before. But well, I just enjoy a clean scrap, where I disagree with someone sensible. That makes for a nice and useful debate. Too bad it's so rare to find anyone who could disagree and yet talk about it.

The thing is, I usually push for the person to acknowledge that my points are valid to me. Well, most never do, they just want me to see things their way. I acknowledge their points, telling them yes that's your point and then I present mine just showing how things are for me. When there's no effort to meet in the middle that makes it an argument rather than a discussion. I usually stop presenting my point halfway through in an argument. No point to be made so adios~

Maison Ikkoku!

Aha, there's going to be a drama series this year based on Maison Ikkoku. Am quite surprised because Maison Ikkoku aired in 1986-1988, the manga was 1980-1987. Almost 20 years before they decided it's good material for drama. (Note: major spoilers are in this wiki page. Don't read below "spoiler warning" if you want to watch this series and hate spoilers)

Don't really watch j-drama much but i'll make an exception this time. If it doesn't carry the series well... then I'll dump it and watch the anime again :D

Misaki Ito would play Otonashi Kyoko. She doesn't look much like Kyoko if you ask me but the way she carried her character in Densha Otoko does make her a good candidate.





Taiki Nakabayashi Plays Godai Yuhsaku. The only info I could find about this young chap is that he's born in 1985 and his blood type is A. Too new to have much info flying around on the net maybe.



Oh, I can't imagine who would play Yotsuya-san succesfully. He's so..... Yotsuya.

Other news about Ikkoku... I've been searching for it's discography set or at least an OST set but so far none are selling i Malaysia. I do have the full quality downloaded version but the sets would still mean a lot to me. Pictures and everything nice in there.

Well, here's to wondering how a 1987 series where quite a significant bit of the confusion was lack of communication due to wrong place, wrong time issue would be played back in 2007. There weren't any handphones back then and it was so sad/amusing/funny/sad to see Godai getting misunderstood again and again. Ah well, I'll just wait and watch

Anime

Today I'm going to about anime. I was introduced to this strange form of entertainment a few years ago. I forgot exactly when but it was around 2001 or 2002. The first one I actually watched was Love Hina and it cracked me up real good. Funny, silly and so seriously unreal.

I was watching some whenever I can coz my bro, the great supplier literally had boxes of CDs full of anime. When I had holidays all I did was watch anime and that was what actually got me off games. A steadily increasing addiction to anime. Some other ones I watched early in the days was Noir which I still love but never got to wathching it again and Slayers. Watched all the Slayers series but actually loved the first one, just Slayers, not next or whatever.

Ah, but the real topic of my post today. Maison Ikkoku. My bro pointed it out to me when I asked for a good one because I was running out of 12 - 24 episode animes to watch. He just said, "Heard it's quite good", or something along those lines. Well. It was good. It was extremely good. More so than I could ever explain here. All 96 episodes are full of anime goodness and I almost went days without sleep the first time I watched it through. I would sleep for about an hour or so and get up to continue watching. I think I finished all 96 episodes in just two weeks. It was crazy and I was crazy to do that but I just couldn't help myself. Now am watching it again for the fifth or sixth time.

Funny thing is I usually skip the oh-so-romantic-lovey-dovey series. This one is considered a love story and a pretty long one but it's just great. Ah well, maybe I'll write up some synopsis on it later. I just want to finish it now. Got up to episode 22 now. A bit more to go there....

Project Planner

Am going to compile that piece of software in this computer. Tried it out on my mom's laptop and me like it. Easier to try things I may want there first because I got ubuntu installed there and usually it's just a simple apt-get command away.

Anyway another computer related news. I assembled a computer and loaded kubuntu, which I warped to edubuntu, for my auntie. She seems to like it at first glance but time will tell how she takes it. The thing is unless you really want gaming windows isn't any better. A debian based distro like ubuntu also make it easy to install new things.

Well, enough mumbo jumbo for now.

----------------------------

Okay now about life. What is more important? Truth or right? In most cases they aren't the same.