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Friday, October 24, 2008

Mah Bro

Since mah younger bro just got his back fixed, read here, here's some thoughts I just had when I was in the loo. Yes, the loo is where ideas foment. Anyway back to my thought. I actually learn a lot from my bro. Ever since I was small I had these strict thought patterns that are akin to a set of boxes that interlock with each other. So this rigid thinking makes it really tough for me since some shapes don't fit into the pattern and there are also a lot of other vague forms that aren't even shapes. So this is where my bro came in. He would happily say something or explain something to me in such a way that shapes didn't matter anymore and it the thoughts, ideas, opinions just slip in.

So what got me just now is that these random non-pattern thingies that got into my regimented form and substance thought world actually helped reduce the importance of patterns. So by late teen-age my mind was more open, things dind't need to fit for me to accept and understand. Understand anything so far?

What I'm saying here, wrapped concisely is, my brother played a big part in me having the unique way of thinking that I have now. My basis was a left brained based thinking. My bro helped me utilise right brain thinking. That's why I could relate to people easily and empathise with them. Throughout school and later university I always was the person people talk to about their problems. Some aren't even actually my friends, more like acquaintances. It's simply how I think and how I really listen to everything they say.

Note there's an exception to the listening without judgement. The closer the person is to me, emotionally speaking, the more prone I am to revert to my older more primitive way of thinking. I've been working more than 4 years on this particular issue. The fact that I get upset at family members and loved ones easily. There had been a lot of progress but this touches the core. I believe, my emotions are formed during childhood and as such it doesn't link with the improvements I developed later.

Ok, meeting now so I'll wrap off this post then.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

At my uncle's house (before he renovated it), the loo had a sign in front of it.

'Tempat mencari ilham'

And it is true, the days when I spent writing poems (that's so long ago, by the way), most of the ideas I conjured them up in the loo, haha.

Ahmad Hilmi said...

Hoho, good sign that :D So true

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