Ashes

Sifting through ashes
feeling the buds of life
yet to face the faded sun
that stares over gray and none

Hmm... I have a blog??

Since I got sucked into Facebook I completely forgot about blogs... It's a disease I tell you. Facebook.. It sucks right at me soul... I have no resistance against the insiduous pull...

So now I write. I am very well approaching a point in life where I decide what to really do with my life. Working for people sucks... It'll be better to work for a bigger company where your responsibilites are set in stone and all you need to do are put down in writing. Training would also come with a bigger company. Working for a one man show kind of boss is the worst. Everything you do doesn't contribute much and you keep doing things not as the boss wants simply for the reason that he keeps moving the goalposts! Well, in his defence he didn't do so maliciously it's just that he's not used to having proper goals and markers set. I won't stay with the company I'm working for much longer. It's just plain stupid to work for someone who can't even set a clear goal. There's clearly no future whatsoever.

Anyway all the business he gets are through corrupt practices. Having people inside the tendering body of government agencies and private entities. Manipulating the tenders and specifications so that only the ones he offers fulfill all the requirements... I feel downright dirty working here. So I don't feel that it's clean money I'm getting anyway. It's against my principles.

So now back to umm... what did I come here to write???? I forgot....

Losing a Battle, Winning the War

PR lost Perak. That's a fact. This is simply a temporary setback. This event in itselt empowers PR. The rakyat is forced to move and choose now and UMNO's ways are shown to everyone who could see. Clear sight is a prequisite to seeing properly of course. So, all in all, it's a good thing. I am sad but this is the challenge now. What could I do within my capacity?

Airasia's Game

I received an e-mail from Airasia telling me about their sincere desire to explain their new KLIA-East airport. The e-mail invited me to go the their website or blog to read and understand better. Note the lack of 2 way communication implied here. I was curious about their attempt at gaining public trust so I went to the blog.

The facts they laid out was simple, rough, overly pessimistic at points that would invalidate the new planned airport and overly optimistic with reasonings that support the new airport. Statistics given were also overly optimistic, assuming growth is ever infinite, up to the point of growing beyond well established airline companies. The fact that Airasia focused on companies is also very misleading as they are trying to justify an airport which means they need to list down numbers for airports rather than companies since one company doesn't monopolise a whole airport unless it's Airasia and it's pet LCCT of course.

I of course typed in a comment which lays down some of my doubts and grievances which led me to the next discovery. They moderate the comments. My post isn't shown immediately and still no sign of it after 15 minutes. Flipped through the pages. Most were positive and supporting comments. There were a few slightly critical comments and very few disagreeing comment.

All in all, the attempt at gaining support from the general public is like any Malaysian Government publicity campaign. A stage act that's one sided, closed to discussion and criticism with sprinkles of some truth thrown in to seem to be open. I would rather they be sincere and open with discussing this issue with the general public which includes organisation and political leaders who represent the people. One sidedness and an effort to silence criticisms implies something to hide.

2009

Welp, nuthin much. The year came without much fanfare, as usual. Hey it's just a calendar date change, man needs something to measure life by right? Nyways I've an attention seeking cat wedging himself between my right foot and my side table. This cat really neeeeeds attention so he'll get it any way he can.

Oh, I got my first tyre puncture with mah new car last nite, 2nd Jan, about 8pm. Bummer. Found out the moment something got stuck on my right front tyre. Was a big ass screw!! How did that get on the right lane of a busy 3 lane city road I've no idea but I didn't have a safe spot to change to my spare (It was the driver's side yo~ Risk of becoming a Hilmi splatter on the road!) So I crawled slowly, with a drub drub drub accompaniment, to a safer place. Took me 10 mins and by the time I got there the screw was firmly wedged in. Was only halfway in the tyre when I first checked.

Driving on a dedicated spare is a new experience fer me. Amy the Volvo had a full 15" alloy rim as a spare haha. Wobble wobble wobble to Saujana Utama. Lo and behold, a tyre shop was open. That was a lucky break. The nice Indian chap (couldn't be more than 18) told me they close at 7.30 but as long customers are comin, they'd stay open huhu. My lucky nite. So anyways I already reinflated both front tyres with the proper pressure this morning.

Gen2 is a very touchy car when it comes to tyre pressure. When I sent it for servicing the fellas checked my tyre pressure and filled it up some and I had a fun time drivin home pullin the steerin a wee bit to the left to go straigth. The next morning I got the story at the petrol station air pump. The tyres were unevenly inflated. Never fill up air in your tyres when they're not cold (mornings man, air cools very slowly so parkin at the office or shopping complex doesn't count). Roads and driving style would warm some tyres and the air inside up more than others so~~ Bad mojo man, balance is the key.

I need to find meself a nitrogen fillin tyre place when next comes time to swap rubber. Doesn't make much difference to driving feel but it keeps the tyres cooler. Maintain grip and prolongs lifespan. Well, only the initial fillup would be nitrogen but the checks and refills wouldn't add much air, it would still be mostly nitrogen~~

Mah Bro

Since mah younger bro just got his back fixed, read here, here's some thoughts I just had when I was in the loo. Yes, the loo is where ideas foment. Anyway back to my thought. I actually learn a lot from my bro. Ever since I was small I had these strict thought patterns that are akin to a set of boxes that interlock with each other. So this rigid thinking makes it really tough for me since some shapes don't fit into the pattern and there are also a lot of other vague forms that aren't even shapes. So this is where my bro came in. He would happily say something or explain something to me in such a way that shapes didn't matter anymore and it the thoughts, ideas, opinions just slip in.

So what got me just now is that these random non-pattern thingies that got into my regimented form and substance thought world actually helped reduce the importance of patterns. So by late teen-age my mind was more open, things dind't need to fit for me to accept and understand. Understand anything so far?

What I'm saying here, wrapped concisely is, my brother played a big part in me having the unique way of thinking that I have now. My basis was a left brained based thinking. My bro helped me utilise right brain thinking. That's why I could relate to people easily and empathise with them. Throughout school and later university I always was the person people talk to about their problems. Some aren't even actually my friends, more like acquaintances. It's simply how I think and how I really listen to everything they say.

Note there's an exception to the listening without judgement. The closer the person is to me, emotionally speaking, the more prone I am to revert to my older more primitive way of thinking. I've been working more than 4 years on this particular issue. The fact that I get upset at family members and loved ones easily. There had been a lot of progress but this touches the core. I believe, my emotions are formed during childhood and as such it doesn't link with the improvements I developed later.

Ok, meeting now so I'll wrap off this post then.

Kucing

Huwaaaaah~ Internet....

I've been out of the office even longer these few weeks (in fact I didn't even go to the office Thursday and Friday) so that means less internet. Seriously thinking of maxis's wireless service tho it won't be that fast since my place only got 3G and not HSPDA. Anyways too laaazay to write nything much.

Got The Witcher tho. Lovely game. No time to play it much. So sad. Oh Hana chan, if you read this... You'll drooooool over The Witcher. Think Neverwinter Night but nicer graphics and Planescape quality (not type) storyline :D